From time to time I surf around for different kitchen tools and gadgets. Actually, I am very wary with new gadgets, because in the end result they simply take up more and more room in the kitchen until you have nightmares about the "Attack of the Kitchen Gadgets".
Over time I have kept some real gems, on what I consider to be, truly useless kitchen gadgets. Those things which you spend money on, have no clue what to do with them, and could not give them away if you begged on your knees. The following list comes from all over and the prices are fairly current. If you have any of these gadgets in your kitchen... just run and hide them!
So get ready folks. Rip out those Credit Cards or run to your nearest ATM. These are gadgets for your kitchen!
Don't Use On The Kids! This is truly my favorite Useless Gadget! (Someone please explain to me what the hell I would use this for in the Kitchen!)
Now I know how to grill my chicken wings while watching Television in the den!
Rechargeable Battery leaves no need to replace batteries Mountable charging base for easy storage Powerful motor does the scrubbing for you Interchangeable cleaning heads for a variety of tasks Ergonomic grip is more comfortable to use
Just what I always wanted to do! Pay $34 dollars so my oven top can get a massage. Kitchen goes to the spa - Chef goes to bed with a swollen wrist!
I guarantee you - you will use this once, put it away and a year from now try to figure out just what insanity possessed you to purchase it in the first place!
Sometimes it is not only the useless gadget but the advertisement that goes along with it. Take a look at this picture.
So I ask you - say you are absolutely convinced you need a "pineapple slicer" (Del Monte don't cry just yet!) So you are going to go out and purchase this one where you need to put your hand around a prickly pineapple, apply pressure on the skin so you can use this slicer? O.k... what planet are you from?
So go out and get one for $40.00, like the one below.
This ought to make your day, and for $40 you had better be eating pineapples for at least 165 days out of every year!
Right up there with our Pineapple slicer is the Mango Splitter. Now, since I do eat mango's quite often, and I know they are sticky, maybe i should spend $12.00 to split my Mango's?
I broke out in laughter when I saw this one. If you even think of purchasing this, you get the sucker of the year award. (Try a spoon. You already have one in your kitchen, and I promise you it works just as well or even better!)
While purchasing your tea bag holder, don't forget the Jar Lifter. This is truly something no chef should be without. And I bet you - once you have it, you will never understand how you lived without it!
Shades of Flying Saucers! I wonder if when you spin this little contraption it also takes off! $39.95 is a lot to pay for a Dreidel which does not even have a side to land on.
These also spin, if you are into spinning and cost around $1-$2 a piece.
When purchasing this one, make sure you purchase at least 3. And then run, don't walk, to your nearest cheese gourmet store, so you can purchase gigantic blocks of real (in?)-expensive cheese that can sit in your Cheese Domes. That should not be too expensive, cause as we all know blocks of cheese are real cheap! And what is even better cheese never ever spoils!
Hits head! Finally! So that is what you do with bananas after you buy them. You hang them in the kitchen!
Electric Pepper Grinder (include batteries) @ 43.95
For the person who simply has everything. Now, you can put not one, but two vibrating utensils on your dinner table for a bit less than $100! Think of the music. And my gosh! Golly Gee! Batteries are included! A steal!
Let us do the math. We are making a cake. We get all the ingredients. We take out 4 eggs - total cost approximately 0.50 cents. And then we whip out our $40 egg white separator - put it on the counter, break the egg, pick it up in our slippery hands, watch the white drip out, and then *splat* we drop this really needed gadget on the floor! Even if we don't drop it, just figure you added at least $40 to the price of baking that cake. (Stick with the $3.00 egg separator - works wonders!)
This thing better be "ultimate" at over $200. But let me make this clear folks. This does not squeeze a damn thing. No way. No how. This is simply an ice bucket inside a container where you pour the orange juice (or whatever you wish) which you just squeezed, and ice goes in the center. For that pleasure - you get to pay out $204.99 - on sale no less! So run and buy this one. And while you are at it, I really have this great bridge to sell you. In New York City no less. And cheap. Real, real cheap.