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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Oy Vey! What Next?

Well if I had any doubt that Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen was actually being read and used it was put to rest today. Here is a story for you Supermarket shoppers.

Jerusalem has a fairly large English speaking Anglo-Saxon community. Indeed wherever you go you will always run into someone who is from the US, England, SA, Australia etc. It is a huge melting pot of many cultures and backgrounds.

And if you are a regular reader of Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen you also know that I hate shopping in supermarkets and that I am at times pathologically shy in situations where I do not know the person I am talking to.

Put English speakers, supermarkets and being shy with people whom I do not know and what do you get?

(This is honestly a fairly accurate rendition of what transpired in the supermarket.)

Well there I was minding my own business in the Supermarket, wanting to go through it like the Flash, and just needing some really basic stuff (and keeping my eye out for that cute lady who shops every Wednesday there to whom I would never talk to - but I can dream!) when suddenly while looking at some frozen ice cream and actually wondering about a recipe to make ice cream, I hear a voice behind me say, "Hi".

Turning around I say "Hello" but figure that I have really hit senility because the woman was not even vaguely familiar to me. She saw the look on my face and said, "Oh you don't me. But I just wanted to tell you I enjoy reading your blog."

Of course like an idiot I totally space out and say, "Blog? What Blog?" but I have an excuse. I mean she was really really pretty, like mega pretty, and caught me totally off guard. And I was also shocked that someone I would meet in my neighborhood would actually be reading my blog!

"You are the one that writes the Fire In My Kitchen Blog. Right?"

"Oh that blog!" I answer.

Silence. Now what do I say? Sheesh!

"Thanks for the compliment." I finally stutter out my hands freezing from the ice cream I am holding. No! It did not dawn on me to drop it in the basket. I was as frozen as that ice cream. My face was a deep red. I was sure of it!

She just stands there and smiles and then says, "Well I know your name. It is Teddy. Mine is X" (No names here folks... she is going to read this one!)

"Nice to meet you." I answer with nothing else in my brain, and then stupidly, "You read my blog?"

She gives me a wide smile. "A lot of people around here read it. My mom in New York emailed me the blog address a couple of weeks ago. She is a big fan of your blog. So am I. You are funny and have some good recipes."

"I am? I do?"

(Hey I never made any claims to being a good conversationalist. And besides I was still way out of my league here.)

She laughs thinking I am just kidding. (Thank God for that!)

Then she asks keeping the conversation going and in total seriousness. "So, any tips on what to buy and to cook? I am having this party and I am really out of ideas for some great recipes."

It took me a couple of seconds but that was when I broke out into laughter! Oy Vey! If Mom and Pop could only see me now! Neighborhood ladies are saying hello to me in supermarkets trying to pry recipes out of me. Now that is funny, I don't care what anyone thinks. How the mighty have fallen! Live and learn.

(The rest of the conversation is being held secret - my nosy readers! And NO I did not ask her out on a date. I would need a straight shot of Johnny Walker to do that.)

So here in honor of humor is a video for all of you. One I find hilarious and yet I have to admit I know a few people like the guy in this video. It is a commercial aired for a Jewish dating site, but still fairly universal. Just don't act like this on your next date. And don't work too hard on those recipes for a nice romantic dinner until you are sure they are well worth the trouble. (Next date? Mine will be in like 5 years at this rate!) For all you single people take heart. At least she got to keep the flowers.

(Brought to you by

Direct Link To The Video On YouTube

(**ETA: Embedded Video Removed - Doing Strange things with Blogger - Click on link above to see Video)

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3 Fire Comments - Click To Post A Comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness. Teddy, you are hilarious. I was on the floor reading this one. Laughing with you of course, not at you.

You poor thing though, with shock setting in and your hands frozen to the ice cream container.

I hope everything turned out well during the part of the story that you left out. Just be yourself and you'll do just fine. Then it won't be five years before your next date.

Besides, when she reads the story she'llrealize it was because of your shyness that you didn't ask her out and she just might be looking for you again in the supermarket very soon, so don't shy away from going back.

The situation reminded me of that cooking show - 'Take Home Chef'. But in that situation, the chef Austrailian Curtis Stone, is actually the one that goes up to the shoppers and offers to help them shop for a nice dinner and goes home with them to show them how to cook it. (
If you work on your shyness, you never know what could happen. ;-)

Keep us posted. Take care.

The Jewish Dating ad was funny too, thanks for adding it.


Anonymous said...

Hi Teddy;

Couldn't load the video but your story is a hoot!
Better watch out- the next lady could be asking YOU out!!

hmmmm you're lucky you're half a world away. We U.S. ladies will ask a gent out!

Take care and keep up the great receipes.


Paula and Elwood's Poetic Palace said...

Aw Ted
I am reminded of a wonderful story I read recently by a very talented writer. The story tells of a very shy gentleman named Ari as he spends an afternoon in a cafe'. His shyness may have cost him the chance to meet his soul mate.

I think it's wonderful that your blog is recognized and appreciated.

Next time you're in the market and a pretty lady approaches you, take a deep breath, smile that wonderful smile of yours and be yourself. Your kind, gentle personality will do the talking for you.

The video was obnoxiously funny..of course I'm surprised she let him in the door after tossing the flowers at her..