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Monday, October 22, 2007

The Great Chocolate Cake Recipe

Chocolate Cake Recipe

  1. 1 cup water
  2. 1 cup sugar
  3. 4 large eggs
  4. 2 cups dried fruit
  5. 1 teaspoon baking soda
  6. 1 teaspoon salt
  7. 1 cup brown sugar
  8. lemon juice
  9. nuts
  10. Lots & Lots Of Chocolate
  11. 1 gallon Scotch - At least 12 Years Old (but in a pinch any kind will do!)
Utensils You Need:
One or two or three good scotch glasses.
Your eyeglasses to read the fine print on the Scotch bottle
Your bed all made up and ready

  1. Sample the scotch to check for quality.
  2. Take a large bowl.
  3. Check the scotch again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink.
  4. Repeat Step #3.
  5. Turn on the electric mixer.
  6. Beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
  7. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
  8. Make sure the scotch is still holding its own. Repeat Step #3.
  9. Turn off mixer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the chocolate.
  10. Mix on the turner.
  11. If the chocalita gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
  12. Eat some of the dried fruit.
  13. Repeat Step #3. Sample the scotch to check for tonsisticity.
  14. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
  15. Repeat Step #3.
  16. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
  17. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
  18. Grease the oven.
  19. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
  20. Throw the bowl out of the window.
  21. Repeat Step #3. Check the Scotch again.
  22. Go to bed.Take the Scotch with you!
  23. Repeat Step #3 as many times as you can take it.
  24. Who the hell likes chocolate cake anyway?

Got Ya!

2 Fire Comments - Click To Post A Comment:

Paula and Elwood's Poetic Palace said...

That is hysterical.

I was all set to save this one and try it out..

Very well done, Ted

Anonymous said...

i've seen other variants of this one, but this one is way funny!

i think i'll do as 22. says...
Go to bed.Take the Scotch with you!